October 6, was starting out to be a normal day. David was working, the kids were all running around having fun, and I was trying to manage it all. Earlier that morning my mom had called to finalize some plans for the rest of the weekend. I just remember the kids were going crazy so I had to let her go. Little did I know it would turn out to be our last phonecall for about two weeks.
Brownies were in the oven, I was in the process of getting my self and the kids ready, and David had just got home. We were getting ready to head to my sister and brother in law's for their fall party. Then the phone rang it was my sister. Soon after I answered she was asking to speak to David. Instantly I felt a knot in my stomach and a lump in my throat. I braced myself for the words I was about to hear.
My mom had had a brain aneurysm and was in the emergency room. Without even thinking I started packing a bag to get to her as fast as I could. Next followed a frenzy of activity explaining to David what little I knew, making arrangements for the kids, and praying God would not take my mom away. Im not sure how much time had passed between getting the first phone before we actually left but it seemed liked an eternity. The three hour car ride seemed like an eternity as well.
When in the car I started calling some of my support system. All I could think about was I didn't want dad to be in the ER by himself. I later learned he wasn't. My parents have some amazing friends and neighbors that were there to support him until my sister and I could get there.
I managed to hold things together in front of the kids. However, with each phone call I made I quickly had to hand the phone over to David, as I couldn't get the words to come out of my mouth without sobbing. T this point all I knew what happened, where she was, and that she was in a lot of pain and still conscious.
On the way to the hospital I was able contact a very close friend of the family. I affectionately call him my big brother. Our families used to get together a lot. Our mothers were kindred spirits. He was able to give me much comfort and some excellent advice that I have carried with me daily since this all started. He told me to be a pillar for my dad, help shield him, beware of those that jut want to know, but most all God is in control and loves my mom very much. At this point I don't know why all of this is happening I just know it has. My heart continues to break and I just can't get there fast enough!
Once David and I were finally at the hospital they were in the process of moving my mom from the ER to the ICU. I walked in and saw my dad surrounded by family and friends. My heart was comforted, God provided support for my dad and he wasn't alone while my sister and I were in route. At this point the knot in my stomach and lump in my throat loosened up a little bit. Followed by more waiting while they transfered her. Again it seemed like an eternity.
The next events are a blur. It was almost like I was in a fog. Frequently paired with me asking myself if this is really happening. We eventually met her nurse for the evening who began to help explain what was happening. Then I finally got to see her.
I can remember standing there thinking she didn't look like herself and again asking God not to take her away. Thinking selfishly I'm not ready to loose my mom. As well as, how much I want my kids to grow up with their Grammar. By the time I saw her they were finally able to give her something for the pain. She was confused and you could tell she was in discomfort. The nurse informed us they would be doing hourly checks to monitor any further cognitive decline as it was a sign things could be getting worse. As of now she was considered critically stable meaning she could go either way. If things continued to stay a they were she would have surgery first thing in the morning. Once again the next couple of hours all run together. At this point I was so busy filling everyone else in and trying to manage my own emotions.
As the evening went on mom started to take a turn for the worse. She no longer knew who we were, where she was, or who she was. We soon learned it was because the fluid was building on her brain too much causing an increase in pressure. An external drain had to be placed to help regulate the fluid on her brain. Which again left me praying for God not to take my mom away.
That night several friends and family sent text messages, called, and even waited in the waiting room with us. The amount of support, love, and prayers was almost overwhelming. I dont think any of knew how hungry we were untilma family friend had ventured out and brought is all back dinner. Before the night was over my dad also had several messages telling him not to worry aout harvest that with just a phone call truck drivers and other area farmers were available to fill in. We eventually made our way to the Hampton Inn down the road as none of us were comfortable being forty -five minutes away at the family farm. I don't think any of us got much sleep that night as the events of the day really began to soak in and we all knew we had an early wake up call.
Still not knowing why, I knew God was in control. I felt his arms around me and felt comfort . I couldn't have made it through it without Him. I also could not have made it with out my husband. I went to bed thinking how thankful I was for growing up and being provided with such amazing parents. Thankful we were running late and had not left home with the kids in tow only to have to turn around to drop them off. Thankful the ground was too wet for David to work and he was at home when I got the phonecall. Thankful I didn't have to go through all of this alone. Thankful for God's love, mercy, comfort, and grace.
